So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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