So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
