She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
