he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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