pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
