She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
