yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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