dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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