I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
