Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
