Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
