I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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