I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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