That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
