dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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