I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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