why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
