Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
COCAINE IS GR8
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