I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
