he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
