I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
