Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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