I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
