i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wish there were birth control emojis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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