i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize