I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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