Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
