i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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