I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
