I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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