just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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