You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
