So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
