If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
