wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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