you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
