All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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