Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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