Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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