Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
