hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
