"it" just moved
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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