Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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