Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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