New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Randomize
