Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
