I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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