She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Everyone says I win the strip club
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
