Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
