Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
