I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
