I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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