Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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