Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize