No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
