Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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