Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
