fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
