There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
