why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You don't make any sense
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