Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
