i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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