I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
