you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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