he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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