I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
