my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
