I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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