I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
