i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
