she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my shit smells like andre
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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