dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize