I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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