Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Alive.
So much puke
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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