You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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