Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
