And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
