This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
