that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
