i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize